Finding Myself

sunset-field-poppy-sun-priroda

Some days I feel so lost and alone but with Our Heavenly Father as my guide I know I am no longer alone.

I battle with myself as to which way to go.  I know I block myself with my desires and wants rather than the Lords desires of me.

I travelled to Cairo myself to sort my documents out.  I learned many lessons on this journey and met some very good people.  I felt at home in Cairo as I had lived there for six months and I remembered the routes and areas.  I surprised myself as my time in Cairo in the past was very unpleasant.  I had to do this for myself and each day I was there I only had one meal I did not hunger for food.  I could take care of myself.  I planned each day’s journey checking my mobile phone road routes and places I had to go and then some leisure time.

Believe it or not I really enjoyed going to the Dandy Mega Mall it was like a touch of being back in normality.  I would have liked to wander around more but I was very tired from travelling overnight on the train and had an important interview the next day so I had to return to my hotel and rest.  Amazing the hotel was so quiet in the center of Cairo – which is a very noisy city lots of horns blaring.  I was grateful to find very affordable hotel and train tickets.

I noticed on my return my legs were so much stronger and I could walk very well as prior to going to Cairo my legs were like jelly I could hardly walk.  This is very symbolic to me I had to break free of whatever was holding me back.  Myself.

I left my girls (cats) for the first time in six years, they were always my excuse for not doing something and I have a friend who kindly fed them as cats being cats they can look after themselves.  The main problem I did not have anyone who I could trust to look after my girls.  I feel I can travel again if needs be without any qualms as my girls like my friend and especially as he fed them.  I phoned him twice a day to check on them.

Really trying to focus on leaving somethings for Our Heavenly Father to deal with I suppose like everyone else struggling with it.  I like to be in control and I can control certain aspects of my life but when it involves other people it can be a struggle as I am more amenable than selfish.

Though I had some situations present themselves in Cairo where I had to stand my ground politely.  Egyptians can be very difficult to deal with they are experts in lying.

All in all the good people I met and chatted too outweighed the not so good.  This has left me with some very good feelings.

I have just cut out all the distractions which waste my time and NOW to focus on some indepth soul searching.

I have many ideas just milling over in my mind which have bubbled up from my Soul and as I start creating ideas appear in front of me.  I have to get them flushed out in full view and start working on them.

Being patient with myself has been really hard especially over the past three months where I was continuously sick to say the least.  I thought I would never get off the ground to be able to go to Cairo or start anything else.

Here I am stronger and finding myself in need of a push.

I am off to see another friend to discuss business I hope it will be fruitful.

Missing piece

 

©2019 – Nanette de Ville All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

16 thoughts on “Finding Myself

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